Tuesday, April 14, 2009 4/14/2009 10:18:00 PM
lesson no 24--epiphany of sufferings
Yes. my previous post comprised of a poem.
i wrote a poem becos of what dr Hoffman said during the existential workshop.
indeed, i fellt better after writing my feelings out in a poem.
and the continuation of existential workshop was on monday, yesterday. it ws super enjoyable!
becos we had counselling session among ourselves.. comprising of me, annie, qy, franscisca and esther. They talked about relationship though..
and it's more of gossiping in the end rather than counselling. Then we have to match whatever e client with the 'existential givens'
They are:
Death/ infiniteness
relationship/isolation
meaning
freedom/relationship/agency
embodiment/emotion
Of course, we need to identify..and work on one existential given with the client.
It's a philosophical therapy such that it focuses on 'here, and now' and to work on their thinking...and emotions now..
it's like guiding the client to find meaning in what they are feeling and to what it means to 'life'.
Dr Hoffman of course, also touched on sufferings and trauma...and the things he said... was really profound. Although suffering and trauma is such a small topic to talk abt, he can elaborate and talk with his experience so much so that i felt inspired... and i felt like those sufferings we suffered,. are actually worth it. it is not just griefing that simply.. but going beyond griefing and find meaning in them.
griefing... has always been a process that is required in order to heal and get over with the trauma. It is not abt not griefing and keeping them deep down there and when mentioned.. bcome angry and fearful of revisiting them.
oh well...i shall talk abtthis again when i revisit my notes on existential.. there's simply too much to talk abt it since it's a philosophical topic.. but i'll say it;s interesting..and i think kinda suit me??
:D
Sunday, April 12, 2009 4/12/2009 09:48:00 PM
lesson no. 23- to realise their worth
Quietly i sat, racking my brains
for the work that i have to submit
Deep down in my heart, i'm afraid
because i'm all alone, without any of my family
Every now and then, i would think
of them constantly
Every time the neighbours take out the keys
they jingle and i hear so clearly
I would like to believe, the sound so familiar to be mom's key,
but reality snaps in to make me feel like weeping.
I understand now my love for this family
that i cannot do with any of them missing
They although are flies sometimes
but the truth is that they are butterflies.
Dad's presence sometimes seems transparent,
But at least you feel the vibes.
Brother is quiet in his room of virtuality
But at least i know he's mine.
Mom's clanking of pots and pans
fills the quietness when formers are in their own minds.
Saturday, April 11, 2009 4/11/2009 05:50:00 PM
lesson no 22- be interested to get good grades and friends.
Had existential workshop today at school. Surprised to see 2 frens of mine attending it too.
Santhia and Da Xuan. Den ester qy, alvin, annie and jessie attended.. oksana one of the helper, and some hons students.. oh victoria green was there too.. but i din manage to talk to her...cos i was busy gossiping with my frens.. lol... it's fun!!
So yeah DX is working as an optometrist wow! his diploma was abt that. cool
and he looked suitable. haha.. the height and the looks.. er no im not trying to imply that all optometrists at all shops have to be like that or are like that. just so happen that the stereotype is there... and i'm trying to point it out.. LOL!
Talked to him a bit abt the existential workshop...and both of us seemed to have a common topic. that is .. existential seems inconclusive.. there's no concrete evidence like normal psych.. of course this was mentioned already by Dr. Hoffman.. the speaker for existential..
but somehow deep down in me i find it quite a nice therapy approach.. although philosophical, and more difficult to understand, it seems like it's the ultimate soul helping therapy for many counselling client
however, DX tht otherwise. he's more of that kind of person with alot of facts and stats... his life is more concrete i supposed.. hahaha! he's working now until next year before he flies to aust, uni of queensland to take his hons... oh my god!!! i'm so envious of him!!!
good result and get to go overseas!!! sad for me.. i had to complete it like in jcu.. cos i am sure that other schools are much better than jcu... so they wont even look at my application....chuck it aside cos it's notworth their time..
unlike DX's ..all D and HD... (i am sure.. i dunno but i'm very sure..) he's a freaking smart guy!
plus, he's tall and good looking.. hahaha! and single?? anyway.. i like holding convo with him... makes me feel smarter... wow.. i'm in the smart group!! :P
muahaha!! ok.. so what lesson can we learn here?? to be eager to learn and of course.. with that...you will get good grades.. and yes he's reading phil zimbardo's book!!!
it is titled the time paradox.. its a good book from the way they wrote it.. and how intriguing it portrays...and yeah.. from the interest DX portrays towards the book... hhaa
oh well.. he's funny! that's wht i like abt him too.. as a fren.. yes... for now? so we're still frens..
hmmm seriously.. i oso dunno why i suddenly can talk to him more.. in the past during school....we dun talk much... except for that night when we took the same bus...
hahaha!
ok.. monday still have the existential workshop and it's interactive! wow...qy must be laughing by her self of what i mean by that sentence.. .lol
Friday, April 10, 2009 4/10/2009 01:14:00 AM
lesson no. 21--so empty without them
living days without parents at home feels somehow empty.
No doubt you can focus. but too bored without them until you watch tv... and go to speeddate to chat until you dun do your homework..
sigh..and sleepinglate!
ok.. i miss my family after alll... treasuring them more than ever
love ur family
Thursday, April 9, 2009 4/09/2009 12:04:00 AM
lesson no 20-- please watch ur EQ
ok, i wonder what's wrong with today.. wednesday....
yesterday my dad's korean fren came with his wife...and this morning... my dad brought him to eat bah kut teh..den it's not open.. went to eat prawn noodle at lavender food court, it's not open.. similar for dimsum there...
den we finally found a place..
den just now when i went to United square to eat... saw this two very very handsome guys.. with a not so pretty gal.. at mac.. cos i was having mac as dinner.
oh my god! what's going on man. and seriously. .they got the very handsome.. model, advert face!
and another model ( i guess in reality he is) came in to talk to them cos he's their fren.. oh my.. why would three handsome guys appear at the same place and so happen that they are friends!!??
i think the guy who came in later to say hi is really a model. he' sgot the height the looks and he's not singaporean.. he's got the accent! oh well.. too bad. the better looking guy was not sitting facing me.. kekeke! if he is.. i'm going crazy.. haha!
ok.. and oh.. i actually wantd mac chicken for dinner.. but i dunno why.. i asked for mcspicy.. hmmm
i wonder what's wrong today.. it's a wed.. and let me check the lunar calendar, hmm nothing special it's 13th of the 3rd month..
and yes.. the moon is almost full.. it' will be full on 15.. wow..
ok.wat else was wierd... oh.. had a tiff i think with lilian.. she kept insisting that i was in the wrong despite telling her that i din know. doesnt she know that she should at least understand why i said those words when i told her the reason..??
i told her the reason..and if i were her.. i'll just say.. ok.. nvm.. what's over is over.. NOW, this part is for reference and u next time just send to everyone...
at least suggest solution or at least dun appear like you're right all the time?! complain queen man.
not that u' should be wrong this time but... hello? u may be stress but please listen carefully..
sigh.. dun feel like talking to her anymore... cos the morei talk to her.. the more i dun want to hear her complains and repeating nags.. of the same thing despite the fact that she explained and i understood.
i think i need to just nod and said a loud 'yes'.. in case she couldnt hear properly..
ok.. today there's no lesson to be learnt at all.. but.. wait..
EQ!!! it's impt that i/ u control your emotion when you're infront of pple.. just smile and accept what comes to you... cos u never noe when you need that person's help again and to make things so ugly is so not going to work in your way... at most dun talk to her.. say hi bye can liao..
oh as for the handsome guys. .control also... dun appear despo by keep looking at them.. hehehe. i'm controlling myself not to look at them..cos i dun look good if someone spots me looking at them.. makes me look cheap.. eeee!!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009 4/07/2009 12:56:00 AM
lesson no .19-- not abashed
hmm saw many pics on pple's fb of their 21st... i am worried.
most of them they had theme party... at home.. normally... and some at chalets...
why ah?? why am i wasting so much money when they are celebrating with so much ease and so little money?!?
why why! i'm getting more worried..
i spent much money on dinner le.. cos i'm doing it at Orient Ocean restaurant. Den, spent 508 on 2 dress.. oh my god!
and i got no theme.
and many pple are not coming.. sian.. Hwee and esther not coming... not confirmed one are edson, xavier and some others...who have nt reply.
and i've got no plan for my birthday..
aiyoh.. i really need to sit down to plan......
my wish list??
YAY! here it is:
Meditterranean breeze perfume from Elizabeth Arden
Anna Sui perfume.. pink and the latest one
'Prints' lined A5 notebook. PS: green is nice. :P
accessories like earrings, necklace, bracelets
Mac book 13' inch
an external hard drive. 320 GB if possible. if not. i'm good to settle at 250 GB. wee!
power support protection pack for macBook (white)
mini display port to DVi adaptor--- this need to be confirmed first.. cos i've yet to checkout my laptop's specification.
Camera! high pixel and anti shake.. will update more on this!
watch from city chain, it's solvis Titus, white coloured with date... will upload the pic soon. :D
watch bracelet. :)
bags..
books...
Monday, April 6, 2009 4/06/2009 01:26:00 AM
lesson no.19- where's ur emphasis in life
studies for the moment. outings too much will kill... if time management sucks.
balance for the above is hard to strike.
need to resist temptation.
review what you did for the day. are u wasting time? like blogging? lol.
how much you spend on one assignment?
how can you improve?
do not have wild imagination.
be firm. focus on what your goal is, and not be affected by other things. like movie... friends that are not related to studies, or relationship...
if u're in relationship, i'll say you focus on studies more, rather than a balance.
Saturday, April 4, 2009 4/04/2009 11:49:00 PM
lesson no. 18- sometimes, it's good not to take people's word seriously
Seriously! taking pple seriously is kinda bad thing. My friend said we'll still be friends but it seems that it's not. I'm not sad or angry with my friend but, perhaps this is other pple's style of not wanting to be frens with you? was kinda disappointed. but oh well, let's just say i still got tons of pple out there waiting for me to be their friend.. or to be my friend?? there's a difference you know?
but of course, from my style of making friends, my lifestyle, my etc... i'm most likely the former one.
perhaps you may suggest or stab me with a qn like, have you thought abt the prob why they dun want to be friends with you?
oh yes, often. and i always regret why i speak without thinking of consequences and planning first. oh well, the things i do are also rather very rash. damn it. like my hp, i bought it at a foolish moment. i was blinded.. RRrrRRR my frens fone, samsung pixcon?? had almost all the features i love. looking back at my fone, i feel so cheated. all becos i listen to somebody's stupid words... see.. i took them seriously...when they are just as foolish as well in recommending me that!
so never take anyone's words seriously at the first time..
I guess we'll just live life with lotsa laughter. laugh your embarassment away and laugh your worries and sadness away.
sigh.
just like my fren i met her today at alumni. She likes to laugh at little things... and becos of this, PLUS her style of dressing, lifestyle, and looks and many others( of which i do not wish to talk further becos i'll feel even more inferior) she got herself being very well-liked.
she's the apple in the eyes of many male teachers.. like mr Philip Tan, and now her so-called God father...which is her teacher in her school. she went to have lunch with her GF and GF's friend.. how perfect is that? it's like going to meet new people.....widening of social circle...and increasing the chance for herself to be exposed to potential bfs. lol!!
oh well, she's pretty of course, i cant be compared to her.
ok, i'm steering away again.. and yes just take everything not that seriously...nitty gritty stuff that is. if it's impt stuff.. like documents, project and all.. you need to be serious,of course!
work first and self maintainance first!
Family first.
relationship second.
Friday, April 3, 2009 4/03/2009 02:14:00 AM
lesson no. 17- do things earlier, less procrastination
watched DMC and it was blasting hilarious! i HIGHLY STRONGLY RECOMMEND TO EVERYONE!!
and some how i feel for negishi, the male lead. seems like i'm a bit like him..
erm.. den i dreamt abt someone one in a particular situation i hope it will never happen.. lol
oh, what else did i do? i saw Justin (Jaspas) my friendly magician fren yesterday after the dmc show in the cinema.. how coincidental. haha! he watched 3 times le.. -_- it's hilarious but can watch online mah..waste money..andi t's the night.. ex i think
Right, for the past few days of my study week.. i went to check out costa sands and while i was going to CS at pasir ris, saw aloha resort.. and wow!!
that's where i AM going to hold my party.. BUT! it's all booked... sigh..
no choice but to settle now, on dinner only in some restaurant.. luckily the place i intend to hold has got function room.
If the menu for another place, M hotel is better than the one i mentioned abve...i' might consider that..and sadly..choose less no. of pple. lol
I could have a blasting party, if not for my procrastination...sigh.. i really hate myself for that..
and costa sands sucks la.. i have to order their catering and they dun allow ooutside caterers..but seriously, they gotta see if their food are nice or not..
all wierd wierd one... eww.
oh, before i watched dmc, ben brought me to fairmont hotel i think.. to check out the nonya buffet.. it's... nice... but i dun want my guest to eat nonya food.. cos some many not know how to eat..
i;m just playing safe here , so thanks so much for bringing me there to check out, ben. appreciated that very much.
i could have done my stats and health for the past few days if not for my procrastination, that end myself in searching for places to hold my party.
oh... on mon i went with mom to check out costa sands.. den after that went to check out ponggol's prawn fishing village.cos it's on the news paper..so we went to check out..
mom lost her keys there.. cos i din tell her what i heard thtwas the clang of her keys...
then, went to serangoon to chomp chomp for food.. but alas! it's closed!! damn..waast my coupon and fuel... rrRRR
den went back hoome finally!! and procrastinate...again... my life has been like this sadly... no homework done..