lesson #69- Do you know who you know!?

i speak to guys like a guy.

does that sentence even makes sense? ok it does.. becos..

I tend to use colloquial of guys' like - yo' wassup! chill man! heyo! wth? hey dude. yo bro.. u must be kiddin' man...

you tend to see a trend, a pattern that exists within these words..

There's a bro... man.. dude, and yo..

and i didnt even know what homie really meant until K. told me abt it! s***

i guess i really needa read up.. like how?? maybe surf wikipedia's random article... and read the newspaper for news.. and talking abtthat... i 've yet to read the sat's special abt 'climate change'


what else?? not at the moment i guess.. going to be kinda busy entering data liek some silly girl.

oh well.. i am already a silly one... always get tricked by the ultimate player... ( if ure reading, u know who u are! *glares*)

hahaha!!! just kidding..

erm... yeah.. i realised that i've changed.. physically.. all preemed.. but fatter atthe lower body.. damn... (oops.. this is also one of the word i'd like to use... and that sorta gives pple a tom boy feeling)

yeap.. so after all changes to the outer looks.. i still laugh out loud like some crazy woman ( or super ugly like a guy, clapping hands that sort??) i still walk like a boy... i still have the boyish character in me i guess..


is this innate?? noooooo!!! why cant i be like other girls who exudes the gentleness and the weakness, that guys would looovvvve to come forward to exude their masculinity??

i just got to know that K. finds me quite 'guy-ish'... ahhh!!! no way!! please don't??

i'd do anything to make myself 'girly' haha!!

if i were a guy.. am i 'qualified' enough to know what guys are thinking about?? How about if i were a girl?? do i know what really ticks guys?

I know none... and i am neither gay nor lesbian fyi!!!

i guess i dun read enough of what guys are really thinking abt.. or rather.. it's more of what is the difference between the thinking of guys and girls!?

D. sent me the pdf version of 'He's just not into you' book... I've yet to touch it... so peeps.. dun leave me out yet!


ok.. so what is the main reason that i'm writing this post?? I don't know actually.. too many things to create such confused conclusion...
Although i had been through mixed schools since kindergarten to uni... i nv knew what guys wanted and what they think... all i know about guys and getting near to guys is to act like them...

That's it! that's how i get to know quite a fair no. of guys...
I know more girls than guys.. becos they are of my gender.. and i think i relate to them better... But i'm always the quiet one. perhaps it's teaching of parents...tend to offend people without knowing... i've learnt to keep mum.. think before i speak.. but becos coupled with low self-esteem, i tend not to speak when necessary.


So i get to know guy friends.. but then again... i do not know what is impt to them ( that is why i ask 'if i'm QUALIFIED...' i run them down on their pride and ego.... stupidly w/o knowing... speak about a guy infront of another guy and praising how good are they and not abt the one i'm talking abt... etc)

ok.... when i get together with girls, they act like they are girls.. e.g. screams when they see idols or guys.. gets super gossipy... gets very intimate( walking really close, arms in arms, when speaking, touch each other's hands)...

**above described are not acts of lesbians btw. They ARE norms for girls... (that's why you dun get a big hoo-ha from lesbians as compared to gays)*

kekeke!

Recently.. i tried to develop such female characteristics... but i still feel weird.. i want to be like a person who's full of cool characteristics ( like those fashionistic pple such as Paris or Tyra) but the frens around me are not?? eh. not saying u all are not. but in terms of attitude.. u girls are goody two shoes... no doubt.. and that's why!!! i'm confused!!

I want to be like someone with fashionistic characteristic.. but on the other hand, i want to be like those 千斤小姐, 斯文得体大方。 Elegant Poised and magnanimous looking..

The " AURA" *blinded by light and yet worshipping it*

HAHAHA!!!!

But then again... i wanna be youthful.. and be cool, i tend to wear clothes that is not so girly.. like girls u see on the streets of ORchard?? (shorts, sleeveless top with floral prints with/ without cardigan, propped up hair and dark eyeliner... flats of exp kind and either a big (tote)bag or those ancient looking bag)
i got the look of a 'go-girl' i think.. like always on the go.. walking fast... more like a 'student' kind of look



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I like to share things.. :D but but but.... i dunno why... topics i talked abt are never extended... maybe they werent that interesting enough.. no one shares much of my perspectives...

Even topics got less interesting when i talked to K. nowadays. We used to talk crap and enjoyed it very much on phone too. Now? frequency halfed! no calls and i predict less outings.. or rather..less of the predicted outings with reference to previous status of our relationship.

er..friendship.. ? :S

oh well... i'm jumping in too quickly.. and got all serious abt many things.. so that's why.. i've decided to take it slow... i shld be glad that i'm even talking to him!





i think i should sleep.. started this post at 1 and now it's 2am!! tmr still got expt.. ZzzZ

some one save me from boredom tmr!