Saturday, May 9, 2009 5/09/2009 03:04:00 PM
lesson no. 26- perfect your imperfections
oh well... just saw my pri sch friend's foto and i realised how imperfect my life was. There's so much things i wanted... yet i cannot have them. and i seriously wonder why. is it becos i'm not proactive enough? or is it my personality? or how i mingle with pple.? am i sincere and thoughtful for others?? or etc???
she's rewarded with lotsa stuff. 1st up.. bubbly personality and pretty looks. smart and good figure.
elegant and rich... sincere and humourous.. i think that's all i can think of now... yes rich that's the thing.. but is rich everything??
her house's design is so what i wanted. although i dun have a concrete idea of what i wanted for a home.. cos i'm not that exposed.... but one look at her house, i know i wanted that kind of design..
but of course, that would bring me to the 2nd point that if you want great stuff like that, you need money. and that leads us on to finding a good bf.. or husband that loves u ..yet....rich and can afford to spend money on things i think should be spent on.
that means practical stuff... yet packed with elegance. or creativity ( or a feeling of art sense)
i'm not sure if i inherit any of my mom's genes.. or rather ..i'm not sure if she got the genes of being artistic.. but i am sure i did..
i study psych... i like to read books, but i dun always do ( due to many certain reasons. :P) and i like art.. and i like music.. and i'm learning music... and i like to express myself in art and music.. oh ya.. i like dance too.. but one thing's missing... confidence. or rather.. the perception and values i was instilled.. the environment factor.. the role models( ok.. i'm referring to my parents.. but i'm not blaming them for what i've became)
and seriously, education is impt.. what school u enroll ur child in.. has a great effect.. and yes. that explains the kiasu-ism in singapore. must be the best of the best...
ok.. i may be complaining abt the parents nowadays but sometimes... i do agree with them on certain things. giving tuition..and best education.. but for me.. i'll make the child be independent. that's impt.. and to expose them with lotsa knowledge.. general ones. and not just the school work. i would encourage them to be sociable and teach them manners... and hopefully... via the great environment i'm going to give... that is home..
therefore, home is important.. how u design ur house.. and the things u put in influences so much!
ok.. so that leads us on to being sociable.. so we can be exposed to more variety of choices.. hehehe!
and who noes, u might get what u want afterall?? lol.. for me.. i used to think ang moh is like the choice i should choose.. but come to think of it.. i dun usually mix with any ang mohs... i get super insecure.. cos i dun really noe how to speak well and i feel stupid when i'm with them. but i'm trying to change that point though. :D
Anyway, i get super depressed when i see or noe these stuff. becos i am soooo aware of the things that i wanted, are not present in my life. even friends makes me sad... i'm writing this cos while i'm chatting w my fren, i talked about frens who are kinda superficial. They look at things that appeal to them.
an e.g.--- guys would help girls who are attractive and very girly. or feminine.. and intelligent. but they dun help girls who are not girly enough, not attractive and yet independent, and who dun speak much and being very ignorant.. sigh...
i hate them.
they are a bunch of un evolutioned pple ( if there's such description)...
i'm not going to list down like what my fren did in her blog of a list of qualities a guy should have if i'm considering to get myself a bf or husband.
cos there's so many envtal factors that affects our impression towards a guy.
but the main factor still remains:
at least averagely rich.. and not being those stingy kind?? i just hate guys who are stingy..
of course i wont be so bad to ask him to treat me whenever he meets me.. i very automatic one!!!
and he's got to be smart as in.. intelligent.. but humble.
to be at least in one of the category: read books, music (best, if it's classical style), dance.
and he gotta be humourous. or rather.. able to engage in conversation with me. :D
and not be childish. haha!!!
But of course, not everyone is perfect... you cant find the perfect person at all.. becos u know there's such things as imperfection. like me myself, i am fully aware that there's so many imperfection in my life.. and that's why ....yes. i'm so depressed. i hate lamenting and not doing something to it.. i'm lazy. i know..
and i know even more well that i should all the more change my health compromising behaviour
so why am i focusing so much on my imperfection? becos pple dun see their imperfection?? it would be wise to see imperfection and change to become perfect. and those whodun see.. get
to be in situation they sometimes dun like..
ya.
ok.. enough of this long postssss