Saturday, March 28, 2009 3/28/2009 08:12:00 PM
lesson no. 16--- practicality vs obstacles
watned to watch Detroit Metal City on... tues. but ben changed his mind last min..and we end up eating at kopitiam in PS...and supposed to eat icecream from Gelare, cos it's half price on tues.
but end up eating some ice cream at Cafe Cartel. I ate... some pudding with vanilla ice cream.. but i think it's not good although it's reccommended.. i still prefer Udders, near my house.. it's just beside Uniited Square. I love their ice cream... Same as Gelato, that used to be in Daimaru, Meidi Ya. And i love 'strawberry champagne' from Haato, also in Liang court, Meidi Ya. ate that with yan.. too bad he dunno how to appreciate 'ice cream' lol!
ice cream has different kind and those lousy ice cream are so not rewarding to our tastebuds and hippocampus... (i think,, or is it hypothalamus? always cant distinguish these two..sigh)
ice cream like haagan daaz.. it's still ok i think.. not really nice anyway.. dunno why it got so many franchise. LOL
oh well, B& J also.. both are creamily milky.. in flavour. lol yes, self made words are like the best to describe things that has no proper word to describe... haha!
sigh, going for the best doesnt seems to be the best decision of all....practicality is what i always preach but it seems that i do not practice that...
Take for example, my bday... practicality doesnt come into pic at all..and instead, expenditure...or in another words, being a splurge (that's the word) is what i'm acting...
total expenditure exceeds 1200... sigh... that's super ex...wt *beep*,. lol
hellow.. that's just the buffet itself.. so saddening... Ben told me that it's not worth it.. but hellow. it's my 21st!?
i want to be special and/or special occasion that is memorable. i dun want to have parties like others, who would go clubbing for party, or well.. i dunnoooo
i saw pics of my fellow srjcians's 21st bday and ALL! and i mean it, all held in their house!! but seriously, my house is not as nice as theirs and not as large as theirs... they had a simple gathering of good friends...
but me... hmmm i seriously doubt i even had that many close friends... i kinda feel sad upon pondering things like this. This is not i want in my life. am i even stereotyping myself?? am i putting values and viewpoints from what the world gives into myself?
seriously, i feel like i'm some kind of 2 face. or is it that i have a mood that changes real quick? *not mood, but characteristics, perhaps?*
i want to have a party where all my good frens attend.. but in reality, i feel like they are mere acquaintances.. like rebecca, jooleng and ariel... they are frens i made in jcu...and did projects before.. but i feel so wierd talking to them. like i'm the odd one out.
i guess i'm just like those hi-bye pple... that means, pple may think that i'm sociable, i' talk to alot of new pple and have a lot of new frens.. but its not actually.. it's all on the surface. i'm just an empty shell. only a few close frens.. but still not as close as i'm with my mom, my best fren... cos prob she's my mom..so whatever i say, she will just listen and correct me without me feeling embarassed..and to lose a friend. a fren.. if you offend them, and they dun understand... they are gone forever...even if you bow your head to the lowest level.. your pride has already been hurt, and the friendship is already scarred...not like before.... so it's like you're losing at both ends.
ah, you may say, ' lose then lose la. i can make more friends...'
ya no doubt, but in my opinion, to be practical, that means losing a little pride to keep in touch with people who might be of help to you in the future.
for me, i have a small social circle... and ben, he's like got the largest social circle i've ever seen at his age?? iono..
he knows gangsters, frens who work in sentosa, frens work in f and b... from different schools.. etc...
i guess i'm taking my life too seriously.. but that's me right? i think i need to sit down someday after exam to really plan what to do with my life... like, having a serious life yet fun filled...
qy going for YOg youth Games Olympics as volunteer.. with her frens i think... howcome they got such lobang...
and i wonder if i can take part. i think i think too much.. always planning first, when there's actually no need for it. i can just take part if i want... but... what i'm afraid again,,... *sigh* being alone.... dunno how to be someone with all smiles.. and with a great personality so that pple can enjoy my company and joke with me.. i'm too serious....
sigh... i'm lamenting again.