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Wong Yee Lee, Cherin

1st May 88, Taurus

Nan Chiau primary high, Monk's Hill Sec, SRJC, James Cook Uni

ex-debator, Ex Student councillor, a procrastinating student (muahaha), Psychologist-to-be

Love:

that special one

my bed

*my family

*healthy food

*colours--green! orange and erm.. almost every colour. :D

*shopping

*violin and dance( if i ever learn them)

*movies .

HIYA SWEETIES! Ok, probably for the next few posts, you will be seeing me posting entries about datings. The reason is simple. I'm 21 and i'm dumb in this area, which is quite sad i think. So i thought checking out on net would try to salvage me. Plus, it's time to explore and the few dates i went out with, they were great people but i just ruined it with my own bare hands. I'm still learning though... so the dates that arent interested in me now, i'd say i'm so sorry for them and for myself. *shrugs* I keep wondering why i cant get them to continue their interest in me. Maybe i don't trust enough. But i guess my trust came in too late and the fire just died out in them. Kinda sad for me to miss them out.

So here it goes!

How to tell

How do we know when the person we have begun to date is more than just another date on our ever-growing list of nameless faces and faceless names? After all, surely we need some identifying features to root out the wheat from the chaff. Is this person we have seen 6 of 7 times just good fun or do we really think they have the qualities to become relationship material? To answer your own question you need to know who you are looking for and what characteristics are attractive to you and then try and stick to them. If you are dating the right kind of people for you and not just filling gaps in your diary then this may get you off to a good start.

Much of what determines your commitment to your date in the first few days and weeks is a combination of intuition, extra sensory perception (feelings) and what you care to see with your own eyes. If you are desperately lonely and want to meet anyone then anyone will do and this article is irrelevant. If, however, you are more choosey which I suspect deep down you all are, then you will want to tray and detect and then reassure yourself that you haven't just made an awful mistake.

The first thing you should do after the first couple of dates is take a step back and be honest with yourself as to how you are truly feeling. Have you been swept off your feet, are you relieved they are nice, are you blown away by their good looks, can you handle the first few peculiarities you have spotted in them and although they are cute now, will they be in 40 years. Can you see yourself with them 10 years down the line. Can you picture them older. Do they make you feel alive because before you were bored or do they make you feel alive because they are dynamite.

Do you hang on their every word, wait for the next meeting with baited breath? Do you find yourself abandoning your old routine and new horizons opening up. Can you still eat or has your appetite gone. Have you been shopping to may yourself look fresh and hot. Do you find yourself getting in at 4am from a date and do you find yourself having any sleepless nights with your mind full of excited thoughts.

Do you find yourself anxious and panicking. Do you find yourself questioning the intensity of how you are feeling. Are you finding your feelings fully reciprocated. Is there a clear sense of communication between you. Do you actually have similar opinions and tastes or do you care? Do you want to spend all your time with them now or do you find that you are worried your current lifestyle is being compromised more than you would like. Are you doing the calling or are they and how does this make you feel?

In other words, start analyzing the situation as you see it and be bold. Be critical and look at where you are finding yourself being led. If you are happy and content with all the major questions then keep going because you may have just chosen well. If you find on the other hand that you have some small niggling doubts then don't push these thoughts away as they aren't going anywhere, they will just become amplified over time.

The main issue is one of whether you trust your new date and whether you believe what you are being told. It is amazing how many girls I meet how say that strangely they haven't been allowed to see where he lives, or are not quite sure what he does for a living or how much he earns or where his parents live. This isn't an enigma factor ladies, it is a sure sign that all is not quite right. There may be some perfectly valid reasons why things are concealed from you in the first few weeks so don't push things too far. You may not yet have earned the right to know everything about your new love. At the same time, you should feel that the possibility of finding everything important out is imminent. Evasive behavior is exactly that - untrustworthy and your alarm bells should ring.

Trusting your imagination is very important. If you can see yourself with that person in all kinds of situations then you may have chosen well. It is important to creatively imagine how you think you will be together in various scenarios, from being on vacation, to being married, to maybe having children to being older. In doing so you get a sense of how things might work out or might not. If you really can't see yourself with them long term then maybe better to cut your losses whilst you can.

Conversation is critical in establishing if things feel right. Sex does not disguise any problems eventually although sex is a good temporary fix. If your relationship is based on sex then its great whilst it lasts but I doubt that it will last. People say that opposites attract and that is true in that you bring different experiences and opinions to the relationship but the foundation of being a great couple is on a deeper, more critical level of respect and understanding. I find that couples with similar outlooks on life do well together because they have built a support system for each other which requires little explanation. It is called a common understanding. This sometimes explains why couples from certain regions, places, or faiths have better success than the melting pot luck of a big city.

Ultimately if you compliment each other and you find that your new love brings to the relationship most of the essential qualities that you really do hold most dear then you are in a strong position for relationship success. If there are some basic flaws but you are having a good time anyway enjoy yourself but know that the person you are with is for now and not for the future.

What is it with Love
That makes me
then breaks me?

When in love
Do I truly love?

Is it really love
Or do I think that I love?

Maybe I just love being in love
Or love the idea of being in love?

I spent my whole life chasing love.
In the end the one thing I truly love
Could just be the meir pursuit of love.

© ® All rights reserved
8/6/2005

Note: ‘meir’ in hebrew (m’r) means 'that which burns brightly, that which illuminates'.
This poem was Inspired by the viewing of Satoshi Kon's ‘Millenium Actress’

-* N E W *- Ronberge, Don’t Think When Thriving! , Poems
ISBN 978-0-9809863-1-0 I did a search on what do men really think. I'm not being a desperate here but somehow, i realised that i do not know much about guys. Shaun even offered to lend me his book on what men and women really think. gotta thank him first. :)

So here i came across this and i felt like i need to be confident and be in charged of my life in order to change what my life is doing to me. I feel so sluggish nowadays. Plus, i thought i could do a bit of changes to what i usually am and improve on what i already had in me (e.g. i am a good listener, and i like to compliment people honestly. i tend to see more of the good side of people more, so haha! i'm kind! :P ok i was crapping on the kind part, but the former part was true)

So enjoy reading!


http://www.whatdomenreallythink.com/howto/traits-men-find-attractive-in-women.php

10 Traits Men Find Attractive in a Woman

Depending on a man's personality, there are a lot of things that he may find attractive in a woman. It is important to understand though that men can look at women from two different points of views as follows. The first being a woman to have a temporary love making relationship with and the second to have a woman as a life partner. Depending on these two points of views, men can look for and get attracted by different aspects in a woman. It is easy to understand that when it comes to a temporary love making relationship, men look for a good physical structure, especially nice breasts and derriere. But when it comes to pursuing a serious relationship, men look for and great attracted to an entirely different set of traits. Let us look at some of them here.

Traits Men Find Attractive in a Woman

The following are some of the traits that attract a man to a woman and make him fall in love with her.

1.) Smile of a Woman:

This is one of the most important traits that most men look for and get attracted to in a woman. The right smile releases all those love hormones in a man and his mind pretty much gets set on that. Most men only visualize a woman's smile when they think about them. The smile of a woman is like a magnet which can draw the man's attention and keep it there.

2.) Feminine and Delicate Nature:

Men like feminine women. Feminity is all about being delicate, soft, kind hearted and caring. This attraction is justified by the fact that men are attracted to traits in a woman which they themselves lack.

I must make it clear that when I meant feminine I did not mean weak, dependent or insecure. There is a difference here that you got to understand. Men like women who are feminine, confident and those who carry themselves with grace.

3.) A woman's voice:

Men get attracted and often turned on with the right voice which strikes a cord in them. A highly feminine and soft voice is what most men find attractive. Voice plays a major role as a communication medium and communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. Women with extremely high pitch voice are generally a turn-off to most men.

4.) Sense of humor:

Sense of humor is something that most men look for in a woman. Men generally get attracted to women with a good sense of humor. A Woman who can understand and laugh with them. Sense of humor is not necessarily the ability to crack jokes but the ability to understand and laugh at one.

5.) Un-materialistic attitude:

Men get attracted to women who are un-materialistic and "down to earth". Women who are too demanding, in other words, "high maintenance" are a major turn-off to any man. So too much make up, jewelry and gadgets are certainly a turn-off. Most guys prefer simple down-to-earth women when they are looking for a mate to settle down with.

6.) Strong personality:

A strong personality is another trait which men find attractive in women. Of course this does not mean a woman who is overly stubborn but someone who is not weak minded and can make her own sound decisions.

7.) The eyes:

Next to the smile, this is another facial feature that men get attracted to. Some men simply fall in love with the woman's eyes. The eyes can speak a thousand words and this is very much true with it comes to attracting the opposite sex.

8.) The Woman's Hair:

Most men get attracted by moderately long hair as that looks more feminine. The hair color is also important but different men have different tastes here.

9.) Physical Structure:

As far as physical features are concerned, men get attracted to a woman's skin tone, lips, height, waist-to-hip ratio and body weight. Men certainly prefer women who are shorter than them and those having a body mass equal to or lower than them.

Contrary to popular assumptions men are not bothered much about the size of the breasts or derriere when it comes to looking for a life mate. These factors are pretty much insignificant.

10.) Comfortable and Confident:

Last but not the least, men get attracted towards women who make them feel comfortable and confident. Woman who laughs at their jokes, woman who supports them in and outside and the one with whom he feels relaxed and open.

So these are the ten important traits that men find attractive in women. But again, as I said before, every man has his unique taste. The above points are common to most men but not for all. Look at it this way. A man may look for and get attracted to such qualities in a woman that he lacks himself. For instance, a tough guy will look for a soft female. Hope you got the idea. Bear in mind that for every woman there is a man out there, so just relax and look out for him.

D said that it's often us that limit ourselves in achieving our dreams.. and dreams here is not those often cited kinda dreams u hear about on media.


she posed a qn. ' what will you do, if you knw that whatever you do will nt fail?'

(cant rmb clearly but that's abt there)

I said i'll study medicine or law.. and i'm serious man.. not those 3 yr old kid kinda ambition as brainwashed by parents...


she said i'm practical. and she's idealistic... she thinks.. all the what ifs..


then i said.. soemthing like i cant do that.. ebcos my personailty and characteristics anchor on reality.. if not,, if i dream.. i will not realise those dreams..


And she said.. its sometimes us that limit ourselves.

True and it's becos wedun like the uncertainties the world has given us and we all like to be in our comfort zone.

I totally agree with her. That i knew it long ago.. that's why i was in mlm.. to break through myself and the comfort zone thing. but oh well.. it seemed that i've reclused back into my comfy zone.

i was very proud ofmyself for being one of the many few.. ( iknow abit contradicting because i felt special as compared to my peers. but then again. i was being a frog in the well) who dares to take such challenge and to 'work' to become a professional. in my own way.

keke!


Then D mentioned abt games.. interaction/ice breaker games in company.. it's boring if the games are not tailored for youngsters. hah! true!

then i said.. sounds like we're kinda old. haha!!


and she said it's up to how we see it.. how we think!



oh wow... she's grown so much.. i feel so insignificant now.. ebcos i hadnt worked...

i guess i still dun have the sense of responsibility and that's why i procrastinate.. and thinks this world is still waiting for me.. sigh..


i will try my best.. to get all ready for work! i will not fear the work.. i will not fear the interviews.

I will not fear rejections. i will make YOU FEAR!!

*muahahahahaha!* slim... tall... model... long legs... long body...
171.. considered very tall...


what's the freaking problem with being tall?? it's not like we're THAT tall!!!

We're normal!!! It's average height for goodness! I would wish to be taller! But i cant! i'm horizontally challenged fyi! and stop 'complimenting' me for being slim and tall!

and guys! stop saying that i'm tall and you're nt when the numbers are there for you to compare!

I dont even mind, even though i keep harping on it~! I may say.. oh, for once i thought u were taller. haha!

you can give a.. wth look. no prob!



*****************************

CHILL! yes.. *breathes in and out*

ok.. for the past few days.. I'm sorry to have been feeling moody. I don't know why but i'm vexed over this teeny weeny issue. Maybe i magnified it. And why?? there must be a trigger right?

Oh well, i'm not saying what trigger. It would make this blog very naked. It's naked enough. my feelings and thoughts are overexposed!


Sometimes i wish someone reading this blog would understand me. But often, they udnerstand, they give a view that is straight in my face without agreeing with me first. Yup.. no counselling skills there of course. I don't blame them.


I like typing my feelings out.. which often might get side tracked. so if anyone of you doesn't understand what i wrote.. tell me. :)

writing would be a chore soemtimes.. so maybe i'll type it out... maybe collate it.. and make it into a book one day. MUAHAHA!!!


ok.. so back to the topic.. feeling vexed and the height problem.. what's the link?? both my frens were harping on that... and it's like.. the whole feeling with this fren dropped from quite a high level to the lower-than-normal level. not me.. but the feeling of him abt me. oh well...

i dunno what happened.. shall not elaborate anymore.. it's quite tiresome to be suspicious of the tiny things that could contribute to the result. Becos there are so many!!



besides.. i'm grumpy becos i'm horizontally challenged and my dream was to become a model. But why hasnt i make a move?? i'm studying.. and jeffrey chung's modelling agency has modeling classes on mon and wed only.. which totally clashed with my modules.. urgh.. gonna do that after my sem ends. weee~! i speak to guys like a guy.

does that sentence even makes sense? ok it does.. becos..

I tend to use colloquial of guys' like - yo' wassup! chill man! heyo! wth? hey dude. yo bro.. u must be kiddin' man...

you tend to see a trend, a pattern that exists within these words..

There's a bro... man.. dude, and yo..

and i didnt even know what homie really meant until K. told me abt it! s***

i guess i really needa read up.. like how?? maybe surf wikipedia's random article... and read the newspaper for news.. and talking abtthat... i 've yet to read the sat's special abt 'climate change'


what else?? not at the moment i guess.. going to be kinda busy entering data liek some silly girl.

oh well.. i am already a silly one... always get tricked by the ultimate player... ( if ure reading, u know who u are! *glares*)

hahaha!!! just kidding..

erm... yeah.. i realised that i've changed.. physically.. all preemed.. but fatter atthe lower body.. damn... (oops.. this is also one of the word i'd like to use... and that sorta gives pple a tom boy feeling)

yeap.. so after all changes to the outer looks.. i still laugh out loud like some crazy woman ( or super ugly like a guy, clapping hands that sort??) i still walk like a boy... i still have the boyish character in me i guess..


is this innate?? noooooo!!! why cant i be like other girls who exudes the gentleness and the weakness, that guys would looovvvve to come forward to exude their masculinity??

i just got to know that K. finds me quite 'guy-ish'... ahhh!!! no way!! please don't??

i'd do anything to make myself 'girly' haha!!

if i were a guy.. am i 'qualified' enough to know what guys are thinking about?? How about if i were a girl?? do i know what really ticks guys?

I know none... and i am neither gay nor lesbian fyi!!!

i guess i dun read enough of what guys are really thinking abt.. or rather.. it's more of what is the difference between the thinking of guys and girls!?

D. sent me the pdf version of 'He's just not into you' book... I've yet to touch it... so peeps.. dun leave me out yet!


ok.. so what is the main reason that i'm writing this post?? I don't know actually.. too many things to create such confused conclusion...
Although i had been through mixed schools since kindergarten to uni... i nv knew what guys wanted and what they think... all i know about guys and getting near to guys is to act like them...

That's it! that's how i get to know quite a fair no. of guys...
I know more girls than guys.. becos they are of my gender.. and i think i relate to them better... But i'm always the quiet one. perhaps it's teaching of parents...tend to offend people without knowing... i've learnt to keep mum.. think before i speak.. but becos coupled with low self-esteem, i tend not to speak when necessary.


So i get to know guy friends.. but then again... i do not know what is impt to them ( that is why i ask 'if i'm QUALIFIED...' i run them down on their pride and ego.... stupidly w/o knowing... speak about a guy infront of another guy and praising how good are they and not abt the one i'm talking abt... etc)

ok.... when i get together with girls, they act like they are girls.. e.g. screams when they see idols or guys.. gets super gossipy... gets very intimate( walking really close, arms in arms, when speaking, touch each other's hands)...

**above described are not acts of lesbians btw. They ARE norms for girls... (that's why you dun get a big hoo-ha from lesbians as compared to gays)*

kekeke!

Recently.. i tried to develop such female characteristics... but i still feel weird.. i want to be like a person who's full of cool characteristics ( like those fashionistic pple such as Paris or Tyra) but the frens around me are not?? eh. not saying u all are not. but in terms of attitude.. u girls are goody two shoes... no doubt.. and that's why!!! i'm confused!!

I want to be like someone with fashionistic characteristic.. but on the other hand, i want to be like those 千斤小姐, 斯文得体大方。 Elegant Poised and magnanimous looking..

The " AURA" *blinded by light and yet worshipping it*

HAHAHA!!!!

But then again... i wanna be youthful.. and be cool, i tend to wear clothes that is not so girly.. like girls u see on the streets of ORchard?? (shorts, sleeveless top with floral prints with/ without cardigan, propped up hair and dark eyeliner... flats of exp kind and either a big (tote)bag or those ancient looking bag)
i got the look of a 'go-girl' i think.. like always on the go.. walking fast... more like a 'student' kind of look



******************

I like to share things.. :D but but but.... i dunno why... topics i talked abt are never extended... maybe they werent that interesting enough.. no one shares much of my perspectives...

Even topics got less interesting when i talked to K. nowadays. We used to talk crap and enjoyed it very much on phone too. Now? frequency halfed! no calls and i predict less outings.. or rather..less of the predicted outings with reference to previous status of our relationship.

er..friendship.. ? :S

oh well... i'm jumping in too quickly.. and got all serious abt many things.. so that's why.. i've decided to take it slow... i shld be glad that i'm even talking to him!





i think i should sleep.. started this post at 1 and now it's 2am!! tmr still got expt.. ZzzZ

some one save me from boredom tmr!

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